Homemakers

I recently read Dennis Pragner's article, Does A Full-Time Homemaker Swap Her Mind For a Mop?.  In response to this article, I completely agree with it.  Full-time homemakers definitely do not swop their minds for a mop.  They may not be learning secular knowledge, unless they are helping their children with homework.  But, they are keeping their mind active and stimulated with other things.  I know many housewives that join book clubs, take up sewing, or some type of hobby, specifically to make sure that they don’t do things mindlessly.  In the article, it said that they listen to talk radio for hours a day and broaden their knowledge considerably.  I think that those people that say that homemakers trade their minds for mops don’t fully understand how these women work. 

Communication

Communication is a major aspect of everything.  The difficulty with it, though, is that there are so many ways that things can be perceived, whether it’s the actual words, tone, or non-verbal communication.  This reminds me of the kind of communication that my friends and I have with each other.  All it takes is a “look”, nudge, or key phrase and we instantly know what the other is meaning to get across. 

On a more serious note, Harold B. Lee stated it well when he said, “We should communicate so clearly, not only to be understood, but that we can’t be misunderstood.”  We need to make sure that our body language, facial expressions, tone, and words accurately express what we are trying to say, so that there is no confusion or misconception. 

Understanding Marital Intimacy

To better understand the spiritual level of sexual relations with our spouse, we must first know our Heavenly Parents.  You shouldn’t do anything that you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to Heavenly Father about and receive confirmation about it first.  On the other side, there have been many young married women who feel so much guilt on their wedding night because they have some misconceptions on marital intimacy.  Understanding fully marital intimacy will ultimately strengthen your marriage, and make both partners satisfied.  There are two books that are highly recommended for people getting close to marriage.  The first is “Before You Say ‘I DO’,” and the second is “And They Were Not Ashamed.”

                               

Different, but Complementary

As anybody can guess, men and women are different in many ways.  Men and women have different tendencies and different talents that they bring to a relationship.  What I really like about this is that because men and women are different, they complement and complete each other. “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 11:11.  Women tend to be more nurturing, while men are more physical and protecting.  With these two types of roles working together, the family functions best.   

THIS is a talk by Valerie M. Hudson and Richard B. Miller, and it talks about how we are different, but equal in a marriage.

SSA con't

To continue with the last post, the guy who I linked to his YouTube video uploaded another video about Same-Sex Attraction, as of the past few hours.  This new video is a continuation of his previous one, and explains a little bit more of what he has found after researching more about SSA in the past year.  You can find the video HERE.

Same-Sex Attraction (SSA)

To start off, I would like to clarify that there is a difference between being 'gay' and being attracted to someone of the same sex.  Many people use the terms interchangeably, but for the purposes of this blog, I will be using them in the sense of having an attraction to someone of the same gender as yourself, unless I specify otherwise.  Also, I don't mean to potentially offend or degrade anyone by abbreviating 'same-sex attraction' - it is just really long.  I would also like to clarify that the LDS Church is not opposed to those with SSA.
Here are a few links that I feel are very helpful to better understand how the LDS Church views such attraction, and you might be surprised with what you find.  The first link is to a YouTube video, posted by a member of the LDS Church.  In his video, he uses the term 'gay', but in his context, he is talking about SSA.  The second link is to a talk that I really like.  It is by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, and I find it to be very beneficial to understanding SSA.  It is a little long, but it is very well written.  Last is a website, compiling articles on this topic.  

1. "For Mormons & Gays" (YouTube)
2. "Same Gender Attraction" - Elder Dallin H. Oaks
3. www.mormonsandgays.org

Adjusting to Marriage

There are so many reasons why people choose to not marry.  Fear of commitment, convenience of cohabitation, fear of incompatibility and/or inability to provide, and misconception of expectations of marriage are just a few of these reasons.  What people seem to not realize, as I mentioned in a previous post, is that dating (as well as socializing in general) is beneficial to marriage and really helps people prepare for such a step.  Dating actually helps you with the idea of commitment.  As you go on dates, you "commit" yourself to someone for a few hours and learn to trust them.

As most married couples can tell you,  there are a lot of things that people don't realize they will need to work out with their new spouse as they start their lives together. Don't get me wrong, marriage is a wonderful part of life, these are just things that should be considered as you start thinking about getting married and even adjusting in those first few months of marriage.  This is a list of a few adjustments that I have collected from many married couples:

1. As funny as it sounds, you might have a hard time sleeping with someone next to you and/or waking up to someone in your bed.  I have heard many stories of people not getting any sleep the first month of their marriage, because they aren't used to having another 'being' that close to them while they sleep.  
2. Another thing that goes along with the first one is actually living with someone other than your family or roommates.  When you were dating and engaged, you could get dressed up before you saw them.  Now, when you are married, you see them before you even brush your teeth in the morning.  
3. Finances - this is a big one.  Once you are married, you share everything (generally speaking).  This includes money.  You will need to find a system that works best for you and your spouse that you both agree on and are satisfied with. 
4. Daily routines and home roles - who does what chore and has what responsibility?
5. In-laws is another big adjustment.  Boundaries will need to be clearly established and respected.  
6. What are your life goals?  Does your spouse have similar or complimentary ones? 
7. Adjust to each others' love language.  If you don't know what they are, need to refresh your memory, or even just feel like reading about them, you can click HERE to go to the main website.  You and your spouse may not have the same language, so it would be greatly beneficial to find out each others and use them.