Adjusting to Marriage

There are so many reasons why people choose to not marry.  Fear of commitment, convenience of cohabitation, fear of incompatibility and/or inability to provide, and misconception of expectations of marriage are just a few of these reasons.  What people seem to not realize, as I mentioned in a previous post, is that dating (as well as socializing in general) is beneficial to marriage and really helps people prepare for such a step.  Dating actually helps you with the idea of commitment.  As you go on dates, you "commit" yourself to someone for a few hours and learn to trust them.

As most married couples can tell you,  there are a lot of things that people don't realize they will need to work out with their new spouse as they start their lives together. Don't get me wrong, marriage is a wonderful part of life, these are just things that should be considered as you start thinking about getting married and even adjusting in those first few months of marriage.  This is a list of a few adjustments that I have collected from many married couples:

1. As funny as it sounds, you might have a hard time sleeping with someone next to you and/or waking up to someone in your bed.  I have heard many stories of people not getting any sleep the first month of their marriage, because they aren't used to having another 'being' that close to them while they sleep.  
2. Another thing that goes along with the first one is actually living with someone other than your family or roommates.  When you were dating and engaged, you could get dressed up before you saw them.  Now, when you are married, you see them before you even brush your teeth in the morning.  
3. Finances - this is a big one.  Once you are married, you share everything (generally speaking).  This includes money.  You will need to find a system that works best for you and your spouse that you both agree on and are satisfied with. 
4. Daily routines and home roles - who does what chore and has what responsibility?
5. In-laws is another big adjustment.  Boundaries will need to be clearly established and respected.  
6. What are your life goals?  Does your spouse have similar or complimentary ones? 
7. Adjust to each others' love language.  If you don't know what they are, need to refresh your memory, or even just feel like reading about them, you can click HERE to go to the main website.  You and your spouse may not have the same language, so it would be greatly beneficial to find out each others and use them.